Playing with Baby Builds Strong Connections

How do you play with a tiny infant? Is it important?

Many people seem to think that all tiny babies do is eat, sleep and decorate their diapers! Though this is much of what we observe, another important milestone forms in early infancy:

ATTACHMENT

Healthy attachment between parents, caregivers and baby directly correlates to the child's social and emotional development later in life--according to many experts in the Infant Mental Health (IMH) field.*

But how does attachment happen? Fortunately, most of it comes naturally with parental instinct! Our nurture instincts lead us to create a place of safety, warmth and comfort for baby. We're naturally wired to respond to baby's signals when she needs feeding, changing, or rest. Yet many new parents wonder how to connect with baby, especially when baby doesn't yet maintain good eye contact, smile or return facial expressions. So, here we will mention again--

THE WAY IS PLAY!

Here are a couple of suggestions for playful interactions and strategies that help build attachment (and thereby, good learning and development) for infants.

Look, Look Away

This game is a pre-cursor to Peek-a-boo. Here's how to play:

1. Before baby can maintain eye gaze or track you around the room, watch for times when she seems to be in a quiet-alert state. 
2. Bring your face closer to hers until she seems to gaze at you. She may not discern your eyes for eye-to-eye contact, but that's okay. 
3. Smile and speak comfortingly about anything that comes to mind (hopefully positive things like, "Hi Sweetheart, I'm so glad to see you!" or "Here's Mama (Dada, Nana, whichever), I'm right here. . . I'm here for you."). 
4. Then move your head from baby's midline slightly off to one side, then to the other. This slight movement helps baby begin to recognize that she can track you in her visual field by moving her head to maintain contact. 
5. Watch all along for baby diverting her gaze. When she looks away, you look away. Pull your face back a bit to give her a rest. 
6. When she looks back toward you, move in again to play the game again.
7. Play this game with her in short spurts throughout each day. As she improves her focus and tracking skills, you'll notice she also improves her tracking skills and begins to imitate some of your facial gestures!

Heads Up!

This game helps strengthen attachment between you and baby, as well as strengthen baby's head control. Here's how to play:

1. Before baby can hold his head up, provide him with head support in all positions and transitions. 
2. When baby is in that calm-alert state, hold baby with his head on your shoulder but fully able to rest against your shoulder in an upright or slightly reclined position.
3. Sit or stand up so that you're not resting back against the chair, and gently bounce baby up and down (while still secure in your arms against you) about 3-10 times (depending on baby's response). You want the bounces to be small and quick. This movement stimulates baby's muscles to activate.
4. Observe for baby's response of starting to hold his own head more erect for a second or so. You may say, "Heads Up!" or "Time for Head Up!"
5. Rest and praise baby for being so strong. 
6. Repeat a few times throughout each day.
7. As baby strengthens head control, be sure to only very gradually reduce your support for his head. Respecting his gradual changes and adjusting your level of stimulation, challenge and rest times builds both strength and attachment.

As baby grows he'll be ready to lift his head to turn it from side to side while on his belly, and then eventually to raise his head, propped on his forearms while laying on his belly. To promote this, you can play the same game but with baby laying on his belly on the bed, crosswise, and you kneeling on the floor right next to him, so your faces are level when he lifts his head to look at you!

Have you found a way to interact in a playful, fun manner with your newborn? Please share!

NOW IT'S YOUR TURN--PLEASE COMMENT BELOW TO SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCES, SUGGESTIONS, QUESTIONS, ETC.  

*Links to sources for this assumption follow:

https://doi.org/10.1002/1097-0355(200011/12)21:6<428::AID-IMHJ2>3.0.CO;2-B

https://www.nichd.nih.gov/sites/default/files/publications/pubs/documents/seccyd_06.pdf

file:///C:/Users/Owner/Documents/Writing%20OT%20Pediatrics/ZeanahCP-Thescopeofinfantmentalhealth.pdf

All photos today are courtesy of creative commons!

Playing from the Start

It's true--when kids play, they learn. 

Think peek-a-boo, when infants start to learn that people exist even though gone from view. Think building blocks, where little ones begin some basic physics lessons on their own. Skip forward to the Alphabet Song, in which the fun of singing a rhyme makes all the difference in memorizing a sequence of 26 letters. These are just a few examples of the countless ways play is the way a child learns.

(Thanks Creative Commons)

This blog is dedicated to sharing various ideas and resources to help us (the grown-ups) facilitate play as we teach our children.

But first, a word of caution. For play to truly be play, it must be voluntary to the child. Intrinsic motivation to play is essential. If we overly construct play, or impose it as mandatory, we lose the therapeutic nature of play. As adults, we can present playful activities and ideas. We can playfully invite, begin and even demonstrate activities. Ultimately, the child has the choice: to engage or not. The child may engage and then change our playful plans. We must sometimes abandon plan A, plan B, and even plan C, and simply follow the child's lead. These become opportunities for the child to teach us. When this happens, it's the best connection of all.

So, with the basic framework laid, let's get started!

We'll begin in a natural place: at the beginning. 👶This first section of posts will feature playful ideas and strategies to enjoy with baby even while in the womb or newborn. Here goes!

1. READ WITH BABY
Won't you feel silly reading baby books to your baby while she's still inside you! Imagine that. You're sitting alone on a bench at the park, reading aloud to yourself, using your finest melodic tone of voice. They'll think you've gone batty! Who cares? Read with gusto, emotion and energy. Relish each word, each sensory experience and joy. Your baby is learning! The secret benefit--you'll feel better, too.

(Creative Commons)

2. FINGERS AND TOES, EYES AND NOSE
We know babies need swaddling. We know they need holding, feeding, and changing. We know they need us to interpret their stress signs so they get enough rest and time to adjust. When all the essentials are covered, they need play! This play activity helps baby develop body awareness, and supports auditory and tactile processing. You can do this activity while holding baby or when baby lays on the changing table, or even while you sit in front of baby and baby's resting in his cushion or infant seat.

Simply engage with baby, smiling and talking in your special style. Playfully teach baby the names of his basic body parts while you touch, tap or gently massage them. Risk being sing-song with your voice, perhaps singing the "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" song, but adjusted to baby's tolerance level for volume, rate and tone. Then swaddle him back up and give him a gentle squeeze while you rock him, perhaps continuing to hum the song for a bit.

(Creative Commons)

The link for the above song takes you to an amazing resource you'll want to explore, from the National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences. Here's their main page:
Kids Environment Kids Health

NOW IT'S YOUR TURN! In the comments section, please share your experiences, links and resources so we'll have plenty of learning play ideas for infancy. Remember to like and follow the blog, and share it with others! Together, we'll fill the world with happy, well-loved children, who grow into happy, well-adjusted adults. We can make a difference in the future, and THE WAY IS PLAY!